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Italia 5- Accademia & Uffizi by Mikael
July 13, 2010, 6:14 pm
Filed under: A Little Me, Friends, Good Things, Remembering, Roam, Try

Halfway through my Italia series!  Wow… we still have a long way to go.

Our one full day in Florence (June 8th) had two tours: of the Accademia & Uffizi.  We started fairly early so we could check out Santa Maria Novella, a church close by our hotel.  Except I chose to wear a tank top that day so the church gave me a cape to wear that covered my shoulders (they are very strict about dress codes in churches).  Luckily, it matched the color of my tank top so… win!  And it made a really cute picture too.

After seeing the church, we got lost.  We meandered through Florence until our first tour and we ran into San Marco Square and a street lined with vendors and little shops.  However, it was easy to tell that it was going to be a very hot day even by 11 AM when our Accademia tour started.

So I thought the hour-long Accademia tour would include seeing the entire place… I thought very wrong. It was 45 minutes of the tour guide saying how men are jealous of the David statue because all the girls faun over Michaelangelo’s masterpiece.  No offense, it was a little boring.  Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed giving the elevator eyes to the 17 foot statue.  His abs were insanely yummy and his expression so strong (even though David was supposed to have been younger when he slayed Goliath).

Despite being 17 foot tall, David was highly disproportionate.  His right hand was nearly twice the size as his left.  And his penis… well, let’s just say no woman would look at that thing and be turned on.  It was TINY!  It was literally the size of his left hand’s thumb tip.  Whether this was intentional on Michaelangelo’s part or not, David measured up to its magnificence… except below the belt and above the thighs.*shakes head*

Picture-taking was not allowed.  But that doesn’t mean people didn’t try.  There were a couple moderators monitoring the crowds, snapping at people who tried.  Twinner managed to get a great shot while our tour guide was talking and no one saw her.  The second I hid behind a big group and took a seat to discreetly take a picture from my lap, a moderator whooshed down on me, saying, “You think you’re so sneaky! Put that away!”  She made me put the cap on my camera. Little did she know, the moment she turned around, I removed the cap for a fraction of a second and got a shot. Not a great full one, but I so did it.  The flash doesn’t detriment the stone so I don’t mind sneaking a picture of this disproportionate David statue. =D

Our guide left us to our morals, so we went and saw the unfinished statues that were actually quite entertaining in themselves so it would have been nice to have a guided tour through them to hear the stories behind the partially done works.  There were some gold-lined artworks on the second level that weren’t all too fascinating to me because I’m more a fan of later century paintings. Cool to see though and we thought we may as well see everything while we were there.

After Accademia, we walked more of Florence, finding a bookshop where I bought an Italian copy of the first Harry Potter book (the HP nerd that I am), and walked to see the Pitti Palace but it was far too expensive to actually go into.  We also were tricked into paying 8 euro for gelato… we were pissed because we said a “small” and even pointed to the small cup yet they filled up a larger one.  I know I know the language, but you think physical indications would be universal.   We enjoyed the vastly overpriced gelato on the Pointe Vecchio (Old Bridge).

The Uffizi tour was bound to be wonderful–much more my type of artwork to see.  If there was only AC–no joke, I was drenched within a minute.  While walking amongst the many paint and oil covered canvases, I couldn’t help but wonder how in the world they weren’t melting into colorful pools on the ground.

And if only tour guide wasn’t so distracting.  Chiara was nice and sweet and easy to understand with her Italian accent, but she said “eh?” at the end of every other sentence.  I swear to Jupiter, I counted her saying it 94 times… in ONE room.  It was that distracting that I resorted to counting.  I’m glad it was similar gold-lined stuff that she initially showed us.  My headset was cutting out all the time so by the time we got to my favorite paintings, like the “Birth of Venus” & “Spring”, I couldn’t even hear her speak let alone do her little “eh?”!  I tried sneaking closer but people wouldn’t freaking move. Pissed me off.  By the time I could catch up to her and swap out, she bid us farewell not even 5 minutes later.  Um… ok? What was the point of that?  Oh, well… Twinner and I continued to see the rest of the artwork which I enjoyed.  If I could spend one day a week at a historical art gallery, I’d be a happy camper for life.  A couple of my favorites besides the ones I mentioned above were “Marie Zepherine de France”, “Armida e Rinaldo”, and “Presentazione di Maria al Tempo”.

That night, we tried to meet up with an old friend of mine who is attending school in Florence… didn’t really work out, but oh well!  I spent the night writing about our experiences and eating the Italian chocolate we bought the night before… oh shoot! I think this was the McD’s night!  Whoops!  Now I’m getting the days mixed up.  I’m surprised that’s all I’ve mixed up since it’s been over a month since we went to Italy!

Next up: Venezia!  Forewarning… it’s going to be a long one. Venice was our favorite city that we went to =)

Italia 1- Colosseo & Trevi
Italia 2- Angels & Demons
Italia 3- Pt 1: Vaticano
Italia 3- Pt 2: Club Crawl
Italia 4- Toscana Tour
Italia 5- Accademia & Uffizi
Italia 6- Veneziamore
Italia 7- Verona
Italia 8- Milano
Italia 9- Cinque Terre
Italia 10- Ciao Roma!

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