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Saying Saturday X!! by Mikael
August 21, 2010, 12:00 pm
Filed under: Friends, Good Things, Laughs, Movies!, Music, Remembering, Saying Saturday

Due to one vote voting, Saying Saturday is staying! =)  Thanks Ignorant!  I won’t lie–I still have fun picking out fun one-liners and conversations I hear.  Here are a few things I have heard lately!

If you’ve missed previous Saying Saturdays and wish to see them, go here! =)

Hanging out with a really good guy friend a couple weeks ago.  We went to talk to his neighbor and his little kids seemed to like me, especially the little boy (let’s call him Robbie).  At one point, he turns to me, grabs my friend’s hand and says:

Robbie– This man is my man.  Find your own.

Kids say the darndest things! XD Like I want that guy for my own anyway (or so I tell myself on a consistent basis…)

At the supermarket with Glam, who was introduced last time

Glam– I used to drop it like it was hot wherever I was.  But now I drop it lukewarm and bring it back up like a frozen potato.

Glam on the ridiculous teenage phenom who so doesn’t deserve to be one: Justin Beiber.

Glam– Give it two years and he’ll be sucking dick in the airport.

And I say… Give it two years, his voice will change and then he’ll be hated for looking like a cross-dressed girl who sounds like a teenage boy hitting puberty. *fingers crossed*

While watching Avatar with my Bro and his best friend….

BBF– Are you going to quote the movie the entire time?
Me- I could… but I won’t.

My bro starts quoting along with Avatar a few minutes later…

BBF– Now you too?!
Bro- Yep. Watching movies with me and Kel is fun, huh?
Me- Wait… you do that too?
Bro-
Yeah huh.
Me- Awww… my heart just got all warm and fuzzy.
BBF– And I just drew a tear…

At the club when a guy sidles up to me with his eyes glued to my chest…

Creeper- Hey there, sweet thang.
Me- If you actually looked in my eyes instead of at my boobs, I might have talked to you. *walk away*

Clubbing with my friend, Red and we had just run into my ex at the door.

Me- That was my ex.
Red- *sarcastically* He seems like a charmer.
Me- Well, he was… but that was before I got to know him.

I think it’s okay if I post this… It’s part of the interview that I did with one of the Utah football coaches and it is too priceless to not post!  He’s describing football in the most peculiar way I’ve ever heard.

It’s a choreographed skit except we’re doing it with 300 pound ballerinas. Them girls are big!  And they need to learn the choreography too.

At a theme park last weekend when we were walking by a show going on and a girl was performing “Don’t Rain on My Parade”…

Me– I’m not saying she’s a bad singer… but I could totally sing that song better.

And now because it’s the 10th edition of Saying Saturday, I’m going to share a few of my favorite funny movie quotes–

Goodburger:

Heather- Have small space aliens ever landed in your brain telling you to break into the zoo and free the kangaroos?”
Ed– Not that I recall.
Heather- Do you think I’m cute?
Ed- Sure!
Heather– What’s cute about me?
Ed- Um… your head?
Heather- You have a cute head too!
Ed– Well, I try to keep it nice… so whatcha in for?
Heather– Oh, I got in trouble for breaking into the zoo and freeing all the kangaroos.

Dexter- Hey, you look familiar? Don’t I know you from somewhere?
Ed-
You ever been to Australia?
Dexter-
No.
Ed-
Me either.
Dexter-
Man, I could have sworn I’ve seen you someplace before.
Ed
– Hey, I know! Maybe I’m someone famous! Like a baseball player or a pretty nurse.
Dexter– What?! Man, what in the world are you talking about?
Ed– Ok, ok… I give up. Who am I?
Dexter– I don’t know who you are. Or where I know you from. Or why you think you’re an attractive nurse!

Kurt– From now on, you’re life is Mondo Burger.  You can forget about your friends, you can forget about your family.  Because Kurt is now both your mother and your father.
Dexter– Kurt must look awfully strange naked.

Customer: (motioning to Ed) Excuse me! Look, I ordered one Good Burger with nothing on it!
Ed:
That’s what I gave you.
Customer:
No, you gave me a bun. Just a bun. Look there’s no meat in here.
Ed:
But you said you wanted nothing on it.
Customer:
Yes, but I expected a meat patty!
Ed:
Dude, a meat patty is something. You said nothing. Fizz, is a meat patty something or nothing?
Fizz:
Uh, something?
Ed:
(raises arm in the air) I win!
Customer:
All right, that rips it! I am reporting your name to the manager!
Ed:
The manager already knows my name.
Customer:
Oh, I’ll see you in Hell.
Ed:
Okay, see ya there!

Dexter: (about Monique) How can I not like her? She smart, funny, beautiful and cuddly.
Ed:
Then just ask her out.
Dexter:
Naw.
Ed:
What, you’re chicken?
Dexter:
I’m not a chicken!
Ed:
Are too! Dexter’s a chicken! CHICKEN! Moo! Moo!
Dexter:
CHICKENS! (quieter) Chickens don’t moo, Ed. They cluck. (Imitates chicken sound)
Ed (later in the scene):
Moo.

Beverly Hillbillies:

Jethro– I think I’ve finally figured this game out, Spanky. You take this here ball, put it in this here gully, and let it roll down yonder. Then you hurl yourself down this here slippery gully and see how many of them there snake bashing clubs you can knock down before the ball gets there. (on bowling)

Granny- What’s a smog?
Jethro- I reckon it’s a small hog!

She’s the Man:

Viola– Mom, I will pick out my own dress! And no, I won’t wear heels!  Because heels are a male invention designed to make a woman’s butt look smaller… and to make it harder for them to run away.

Debutante Coordinater– Viola Hastings, why is it I always find you in the middle of a tussle?
Viola– Bad timing?

Just Married:

Peter: I’m warning you Leizak — I studied karate with a Grand Master.
Tom: Yeah? Well I sure hope he showed ya how to pull a fire poker outta your ass!

Tom: This is not the car.  I specifically asked for a compact.
Sarah
: This is a European compact.
Tom: No, this is a Ringling Brothers compact! I don’t understand it. I looked at the brochure and it had a Fiesta on the cover, not a Bingo!
Sara: Aw… baby needs a great big car to make him happy?
Tom: Well, we could really use the Dodge right about now.
Sara: *mocking* We could use the Dodge right now.
Tom: What was that?
Sara: You just sound so Uh-merican.  *mocking again* We could use the Dodge right now. And while I make a doody would you mind getting me a drink and the sports section please? Thank you very much, ma’am.
Tom: Are you mocking me?
Sarah: Haha! No, baby, just floor it.
Tom: I am flooring it! If I pushed any harder, my foot would blow through the floor and we would be Flintstone-ing our asses there!

Clifford (Martin Short movie from the early 90’s… it’s hilarious and I highly recommend it):

Passenger: Would you please stop hitting the back of my chair? I am trying to sleep!
Clifford: I’m sorry, Miss Nice Older Person, but I don’t know what you’re talking about. Perhaps you were just having a nightmare about your early days in the circus.

Uncle Martin: That was so embarrassing with Mr. Ellis! Please don’t ever tell someone that they have a nice wig.
Clifford: I said it was the bestest-looking wig I ever saw. It was a compliment.
Uncle Martin: He says he doesn’t wear a wig, and a person doesn’t take it as a compliment if you say, “Nice wig”.
Clifford: But I didn’t say “Nice wig”, Uncle Martin, I said “Bestest-looking wig”. I believe there is a difference.

Clifford: Oh Uncle Martin! I am so glad you’re here! I got on the train to run away, but a person tried to touch my no-no special place! And when I got back, there were bikers here. And they tied me up, Uncle Martin, and then they told me stories that they do on their bikes. Some of them were fun but some of them were scary!

Uncle Martin: Imagine if you got your hands on some plutonium: “I just made the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world!”

Drop Dead Fred (another 90’s wonder):

Fred- Are you going to “do it” like the pigeons?! Hold on, hold on!  That’s not how the pigeons do it. You’re supposed to stamp on her head and peck her!

Fred– Fred is the pirate who doesn’t touch anything! Except this button! *pushes button… which sinks the boat*

Fred– Oh, no! Mickey Fart-Pants! Who let him grow up?

Ok before I go completely overboard I should just stop this now… Feel free to add your own favorite funny lines in the comments! I’d love to hear them!  Oooh, I’ll feature them in the next Saying Saturday if you do decide to post them ;) Have a good weekend!

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9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Okay, so I love your Glam friend. I also love your brother. I also love that little kid. Damn, girl, how do you remember all the witty stuff said around you?! I always forget that stuff, and I wish I didn’t!!!
Seriously, though – Glam is incredible! “I drop it like it’s lukewarm….” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Comment by slightlyignorant

I have to write them down either in my Blackberry or the nearest sheet of paper. Or I’ll repeat what was said in my mind like million times for like a day until it’s engraved in my memory. Haha! Glam is awesome… seriously everything he says deserves to be up here but I don’t always have my phone with me and it’s hard to pick what to post because nearly everything he says is hilarious XD

Comment by Mikael

Modern Day Jack and Jill
—————————–
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill din’t bother after.

Comment by Maimoona Rahman

Haha! That’s cute! =)

Comment by Mikael

You were on a roll and I was enjoying a good laugh!

Comment by Lucy

Awww…I remember Drop Dead Fred. Funny movie. I cried a little when she lost her imaginary friend.

Comment by thoughtsappear

YES! Someone else knows of the genius of that movie. (never mind genius… it’s kind of stupid… but the humor is genius XD) That part is rather emotional though.

Comment by Mikael

Soooo happy you used the word ‘sidled’. My friends laugh at me when I use that word, but sometimes, it just fits!

Comment by lilwanderer

Sidled is a great word! Your friends have no right to belittle it… haha.

Comment by Mikael




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