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Saying Saturday XIV by Mikael

If you’ve missed previous Saying Saturdays and wish to see them, go here! =)

While camping in Zions, my StepDad was bitten by a squirrel on accident so he was dubbed Uncle Squirrel by my cousins, which made for some great fun :)

On the bus, and one of my cousins accidentally bumped my StepDad…

Cuz16: Oh, sorry Uncle Squirrel!
StepDad: You almost cracked my nuts!

At the top of Angel’s Landing and my cousins are wanting to head back down the mountain…

Cuz16: Can we go yet?
Uncle1: No, when you go that means we all have to go.
Cuz15: That’s like saying “You fall, we all fall.”
Uncle2: Well, that would be better.
Me: Why do you say that?
Uncle2: Because then no one would get the blame if everyone fell.

Went to dinner at a sushi restaurant with someone I’m very fond of, right before we left, they had to use the restroom. On our way out of the door... (keeping their identity secret at their request)

I feel bad for that girl. Let me just say that the toilet wouldn’t flush… and there’s now a sushi roll in there. New mixture!

At the office, where yawning tends to be very contagious…

Em: Does your jaw lock when you yawn?
Me: Um… it doesn’t lock but the left side pops.
Em: But I thought you had that disease?
Me: It’s not a disease… it’s a disorder.
Em: Well, I always call OCD “obsessive compulsive disease.” There’s not much of a difference if it means the same thing!

At my best gay guy friend’s birthday party where nearly everyone was drunk… except me of course… and this is what I heard.

A: Don’t be a dramatic faggot! Yes… I said it!
C: Don’t make me take my veil off or I will Snooki this shit up!

A: I was falling down but a stage was behind me so I fell up.

C: You’re so gorgeous I could stab someone.

I honestly cannot remember who said this… I think it was my brother. Discussing on who can get off of getting in trouble, particularly getting speeding tickets…Yep it most definitely was my brother.

Bro: Mikael can just shake her boobs at anyone and get off! I can’t shake my penis at anyone and get the same result.
Mom: Yeah, you’d go to jail.

Recently, I found out that I brought home a lovely bacteria in my mouth from Italy. Discussion of this at the office turned out some very interesting lines…

Me: So it turns out… I brought something home from Italy with me.
JK: And his name wasn’t Mario?

As I was thinking of who I have kissed in the past five months (thus who to check with)…

Me: Oh, shoot! I just realized what I did for my birthday.
Em: What did you do? If you kissed someone, I don’t want to know.
Me: What if they were gay?
Em & JK: You kiss gay guys?
Me: It was a free-for-all kissing, so everyone kissed everyone.
Em: No wonder you have gum disease…

SNAP! Quick, Em, very quick. In my defense, it’s not a disease. It’s bacteria!

And that’s it for today! Here’s hoping for some great quotes from Thanksgiving in Vegas this week! ;)

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