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SS XVI~ Holidays! by Mikael

I present to you the holidays edition of Saying Saturday!  I wanted to wait until after January 1st to post this in order to cover all of the holidays the past couple weeks have included.  Enjoy!

If you’ve missed previous Saying Saturdays and wish to see them, go here! =)

*   *   *

At the family Christmas party…

Cuz7: There is this kid at school who is getting nothing for Christmas.
Me: Why do you say that?
Cuz7: Because he’s not very nice…

Upon receiving a Kindle from the family for Christmas…

Grandma: Are we smart enough for this?

Me: I heard you made Better Than Sex cake!
Aunt3: Well, its not really Better Than Sex cake… It’s more like Better Than Dry Humping cake.

Playing with the wands my aunt brought back from the HP theme park…

Me: Wingardium Leviosa!
Uncle1: Mowthelawnsom!  Cleanyourroomsom! … Well look at that, it doesn’t work.

Uncle3: *whining* I wanna hold your wand.
Uncle2: He must suffer from wand envy.

Upon losing to my mother on the Xbox360 Kinect bowling game that our family got for Christmas…

Me: Oh my god… Mom won a video game.  That never happens!
Bro: That must be a sign that the f*cking apocalypse is near.

The wine is flowing in Vegas at my dad’s house right after Christmas…

StepMom: There is one thing I learned about antibacterial hand sanitizer… it burns if you try to use it as lube.

Dad: Mikael, you should plug your ears.
Me: No, thanks. This is really entertaining!
Dad: Ok, then don’t judge me…

As I pass out on the coach after said wine…

StepMom: Mikael? Do you realize you’re folded like a pretzel?
Me: It’s comfy…
StepMom: Dear, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your daughter drunk before.
Me: Me being drunk is a very rare occasion. I’m just buzzed… Did you not try that wine?

Me: Whose Naughty Crosswords book is this?
Mom: Mine. StepDaughter gave it to me for Christmas… but if anyone knows me, they know that I can’t spell worth shit.

Playing the Kinect with Glam and his BF…

Me: Want to play the sprinting game?
Glam: The only way I’ll run is if a cop is chasing me.

Glam’s BF got a strike in the bowling game…

Glam: I almost yelled touchdown!

Glam: I had my first real-life bowling experience a couple of weeks ago.
Me: Seriously?
Glam: Yeah, it was ugly.
Me: How come?
Glam: Let me just say this… if you got points for the ball going in the gutter, I would have won.

Paying for pole fitness on New Years Day…

Me: Is it weird that I am this excited to write 1/1/11 on a check?

That’s it for the holidays!  Both sad and relieved that they are over. They provided ample opportunity to relax, go out of town and hang with friends.  Now back to the daily school grind on Monday… yippee!

Have a great weekend!


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