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Tell it to my face! by Mikael

Text messages and online instant messages are the quickest way to tell someone something.

I’m sure you heard a “but…” coming after that statement, and I have a big one. (Not talking about my bootylicious backside though… sorry to disappoint.)

One thing I’ve run into a lot lately though is a lot of misunderstanding over those modes of communication. Sarcasm, joking and other hints that you can pick up in person are gone when technology is the middle man. The best way to express that kind of stuff is with an *eyeroll* or a smiley emoticon, and even then, it can be completely misread. How that happens is lost on me.

And then you add someone like me–who takes everything literally and takes it all to heart–and a lot can be misunderstood. Sometimes hurtful even if it’s not meant to be. Now I’m not going to go into a lot of detail on this, but let’s just say I’m having struggles with one of my friends over this. My text messages were misconstrued as giving attitude when I was trying to poke fun at an issue we’ve been having. My aim was to get a giggle and a “You got it! :)”

Such never happened. Cue friendship frustrations over something that I think is pretty stupid.

God, it makes me so angry sometimes! Everything that can be turned on its head and misunderstood just because it’s transferred through technology. It is getting so bad lately that instead of having important conversations over texts (and even some non-important depending on who I need to talk to), I’m asking when we can get together and talk. Heck, I call more now whenever I can so I don’t have to put up with the innate mixed messages that technology masks conversations with.

If you talk in person, you can read the other person’s facials, body language and pick up on when they are sarcastic or being totally serious. If you talk in person, there is less to be guessed, less to be analyzed, and less to be understood/ misunderstood. It’s clean and get’s the job done so much more effectively. And there’s no hard feelings!

Well, unless someone’s calling you a two-faced bitch to your face. Then you may need to rethink what you’re doing all together if you’re getting that reaction from people. ;)

Talk it out in the comments below… 

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11 Comments so far
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Yeeeeah. Believe it or not, sometimes I am a saucypants. And it can be misread in a text.

Comment by Peter DeWolf

Saucypants? Haha

Comment by Mikael

I agree. I find it very hard to tell sarcasm or emotions over text. And there has been some arguments about the same. One almost ending one of my relationships.

Comment by sarcasticallybitter

Wow, yeah that’s scary when relationships hang in the balance of poorly worded text messages that should be spoken face to face.

Comment by Mikael

Yeah basically he had sent me drunk texts and it got really mean, except it wasn’t meant to be mean.

Comment by sarcasticallybitter

Ooh yeah, drunk texting is never good. I’m sorry about that.

Comment by Mikael

If you need to talk about something personal or are discussing a hot topic, do it in person (or at least over the phone)… that is my motto as well.
Things are so easily twisted, regardless of how carefully you try to compose.

Comment by San

I’ve had similar issues through texting or emails as well. You can’t really tell when people are joking or not and it’s hard to understand someone’s intent when you can’t hear their tone.

Comment by terra

Exactly! So hard to figure out sometimes.

Comment by Mikael

I totally agree that things get lost in text. It is frustrating and I long for the days when that wasn’t a problem. I think relationships are almost harder now to develop because it is so easy to be misunderstood when texting or communicating online. I think it is so easy to get hurt when you misread what is written.Recently, I had a similar situation and wonder if we hadn’t been texting, if the outcome would have been different.

Comment by Caryn

[…] I’m actually mostly back to that with the occasional venture into health and other random / relationship-y shtuff. Strange, […]

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